So unfortunately replacing the ram did no good. It has to be an issue on my motherboard. I'm up shit's creek....

I found a listing on ebay for computer repair, thousands of feedback ratings and not a single negative one. I also found, bu googling, it's a real place, just expanding their business by ebay listings. It'd only be 175 + s&h but i don't feel so good about sending my laptop, HD and all. This person could transfer the files from my HD and their are all the passwords to my saved in FF and Opera to my credit card, bank account... All sorts of person info...

If I buy a new laptop how do i get my old stuff off? I guess I'd just need to buy a transfer cable or something. I have no idea...

It's so sad, if i wake up late night wanting to check my FB or gmail, I use my PSP. And we all know how annoying typing addresses and replies in PSP is... They really ought to make a usb keyboard or something....

it's been raining 3 days straight. it is uber cold and the wind is blowing so hard it knocked my umbrella over a million times and i ended up wet no matter what... this weather is a BEAST!!!!

Add that to the fact i left my fuggin lights on the 1.5 hrs i was in class and came back to a dead battery. Which meant i had to sit, wet and cold in the truck for almost half an hour waiting for someone to get me. It's because (A) i NEVER turn on the lights during daylight hours. I have never left my lights on before and (B) that truck doesn't have lights that go on and off by themselves, I have to do it manually.

God, I need my laptop working like NOW. I am biting at the bit to do my homework, study for the icnd, job hunt online, get started on this Vangrant Story shrine. LMAO way to be 26 there. I have sooo many ideas. This may be my best shrine as of yet.

Seeing those GOP wins in Va and NJ worried me yesterday. I felt kinda nauseous really.

Palin, Limbaugh, Beck, Steele, the GOP's propganda: the Fox Network and their lies and hatred spewing... it all makes me afraid.

Huffington Post is probably my favorite online news blog/forum. And I feel a sigh of relief seeing comments by my fellow Americans that are witty and see past the bologna the GOP is throwing out. But there are so many people who are ignorant. Their hearts are full of hatred. Hatred for our half Black president. And that's the only reason they dislike them, some choose to say it (see Becks rant on how a Biracial President raised by his White grandparents hates White people. Or Limbaughs blaming Obama for a violent action towards white kids on a bus). To the point they are willing to see this country burn in hell before they try to work with him to make things betters.

And I'm worried about us. My people. and by my people i don't mean an ethnicity. I mean the middle class, the 9-to-5ers, the people busting their ass just to stay afloat and not asking nor wanting handouts. I'm scared for us, because the GOP doesn't give a shit about us. They are too busy trying to spite the President. Biting their noses off to spite their own faces.

The presidential race seemed to stretch on forever, but I miss it. I miss the pride I felt, the hopefulness for the future. And it's not because President Obama is not doing his job. America is a 'democracy', anything he wants to do has to go through the house and senate. For these people to argue and bicker and throw bills and proposals back and forth and sling mud and name call, while we, we REAL Americans, the middle class, the proletariats, the cogs that keep america running, are SUFFERING for it. They care nothing for utilitarianism, only seeing the president fail so they can go 'see, told ya so!'. Actually, I don't know what it is they are after, but it's nothing good or useful or positive...

Every step of the way, they're spiting him. They want coal and oil, not clean energy. Let's keep depending on other countries for oil. Who gives a shit we are destroying our environment. I can only guess that there is some other planet we can live on once Earth is out of service. They don't want Healthcare reform, so let's let insurance companies determine when they will pay the bill and when they won't- don't worry they are only dealing in human lives. (Thank you Congressman Grayson). Who gives a crap about our failing educational system. That Southeast Asia is kicking our asses in math and science. We all know how successful 'Leave no Child Behind" is. They want to keep sending troops over to Iraq, for a war that can't be won. Burning through money we don't have and more importantly, taking more lives. And I understand how soldier's families feel, some want to stay. To leave would mean they lost their loved ones for nothing. But the situation in Iraq could go on for years and years. Iraq has a totally different culture, and if they want democracy then they will need a civil war, something that outsiders can't fight for them. The same way we fought the British out to become our on country. The same way the North and South fought to remain a unified. I'm not heartless I feel for these people but this is their fight now. It's way past time America learned to respect the sovereignty of other countries.

And I simply don't get it. Obama didn't put us in this economic situation. The deficit is not his fault. He didn't start the fire, it was all Bush. And since he has been in office the economy is getting better, I watch the stock ticker and see more upward green arrows than a see of red ones. How the hell is he going to make change without spending money? How can he bring more jobs here or reform healthcare or education? Do some 'Bewitched' nose twitch, nod his head and shit will start happening?

I'm scared for America. I'm scared that people who shouldn't be taken seriously, like Palin, are being taken seriously. These people are ignorant. They are really really ignorant. They are afraid for absolutely no reason, they say shit that is totally out there and makes NO SENSE, and it's dangerous. You can't ignore crazies. Hitler was crazy but people still followed him. He kept spewing his hate filled angry rhetoric and see what happened? Attempted genocide on people intellectuals, ethnic groups, the disabled....

Just bear with me. WHile I had the cash, I probably should have bought a new laptop but I'm sooo stubborn...

I have an Acer Travelmate. A tablet PC, like the only one I could find that had the CD/DVD/CD-RW drive internal. As I HATE carrying around external drives. I bought it Jan 06, so it is a little old, but I keep it clean and summer 08 I wiped and reformatted the HD and installed Ubuntu and XP.

Oh please My Sweet Jesus, let the RAM replacement solve my problems...

So on my mom's laptop I found a copy of my resume. it isn't the most recent but it isnt that old, so I'm going to gussy this up and turn it in. I REALLY hope to get this county clerk position. I need an official W4 form job for my resume. And the cash would be nice too, no that it pays that much, but it's just typing up forms, copying, and filing. Shit I've been doing for my dad my entire life just about. 

If I get it, it should save me from the stupid 'co-op' work experience that the school is requiring in order to graduate. Assholes, if I thought i could ace this CCNA exam I'd totally bounce. I am seriously gonna get my shit together and SELF STUDY. I don't feel like i'm learning much from class and we are STILL using SIM software and not even working with the real hardware... I will definitely have to take the divide and conquer method. Meaning I take the CCNA in two parts: ICND 1 then 2. The thing is is subnetting pwns me 50% of the time. Plus i bet that dumb ass exam is in the AM. and I am completely mentally retarded in the AM.

Hilariously, My alarm went off and the second time it sounded, i thought I heard my mom's beemer leaving the driveway (she is always late to work, but due to her vehicle, she can travel the speed of light and somehow make the 15min drive to work in like 8min.)  and i was like SHIT! i didn't set my alarm back an hour! I'm late!!!.... So I am about the hop out of bed but mandie is there so I don't want to kick her in the head, so I end up falling out of the bed. But my head is so foggy and absent in the morning, one leg wanted to go head to the shower the other wanted to head back to make the bed first, so it looked like I was doing a retarded mix of a two-step and the running man. My mom had actually just went to McDonald's to get breakfast and she came over to give it to me and she was like "Carol, I don't know what sort of dance you call yourself doing, but you need to eat this food and go to class!" Then she added the "And be dressed at 5, as we are going to vote". I don't know WTF we are voting for.... Mom says jump I say how high.

Oh my God, I am so tired. I have been singing Gulla gulla island themesong ALLLLL day (come and let's play together in the bright sunny weather let's all go to Gulla Gulla Island....) . There was only 3 of us in class today and i was singing to myself so i don't think they cared. The instructor was playing solitaire and the other two girls were rambling on about their weight and all the food they eat. (Girl you aren't that fat! i mean you don't have a double chin but you do have big jaws and you can't do a thing about that. Excuse me? My neck is too short to have a double chin. I eat vegetables, I have collard greens on this plate! Can ya'll smell that? That's the smell of a hater sitting beside me..). This girl carries food to class with her, and it's like a 9am class and she has a plate of bbq ribs, string beans collard greens and potatoes. LMAO. we arent even supposed to be eating in the room but if the instructor actually enforces that rule, she just stands outside the door and eats and the smell is all strong and she asks questions all loud from the doorway. LMAO. I try not to participate in their conversations but it makes me LOL at the crap they talk about and I dont want to offend them.

Being in agony really pisses me off and makes my temper a fuse that's so short, why bother with a fuse at all?

In other news, my Dad was going on and on about some freakin sweet potatoes. And as always, my good-for-shit brother refused to go at the last minute, so I said I would.

Here I'm thinking he is going to someone's house and pull up a couple of potatoes. Hell no. Why? Because it's MY dad and that would be too normal. No he drives like 20 min out of town pulls over by this huge field and proceeds to walk into the field with two buckets and pick up potatoes, which I'm guessing where missed when the machine went through (or maybe the machine just turned up the ground and the potatoes had yet to be harvested).

I sat their looking out the front window for the longest time. Hello? this is STEALING. So I yell across the field if he was allowed to do this, he looks up shrugs and continues pillaging. Now I'm crampy and POed major.

I guess I will be a loser for the rest of my life because I have very strong convictions, religion having nothing to do with them. If you left 100 bucks in front of me, and left me alone with it, you'd come back and it'd still be in the same damn spot. Because I have a huge issue with just touching what does not belong to me. I have a huge thing with respecting others and their rights and their personal space and their belongings. It's just goes against my nature to abuse other people, even if it will benefit me..

So I'm thinking: this is someone else's field, POSTED: PRIVATE PROPERTY everywhere. Someone's money for the seeds, to water and the pesticides. It was stealing and I refused to have anything to do with it. Eventually the whole affair ate at me so that i went out and grabbed a bucket he filled and dumped it's contents into the back, hoping that he'd just take two buckets and leave. did I mention my dad has this hoarding personality? I think he filled the buckets like 3 times, meaning 6 loads of sweet potatoes. WTF?

I don't know if he stole them or if he knew the guy that owned the field (i had overheard him on the phone with a coworker talking about picking sweet potatoes). it's be like him to withhold that info just to see me squirm.

What i do  know is I won't be eating a lick of them in any way. Not a bit.

I must be mental because finishing an epic game kinda brings me down. then again  I feel the same kind of down when I finish reading a book or something. I mean I was a mess after Crisis Core and I KNEW that was coming. And don't even mention Aeris death.

I just finished Suikoden II. Sad thing is, I got a real life ending. Not the fairytale stuff. I did not get all the starts (recruit everyone). I tried to but the chinichirorin trio were a no go. So a result: Nanami dies and because she died, Jowy had to as well. WTF? The only two people this lil kid had in the world. I just finished reading the endings and I would have liked the one were all three of them walk off into the sunset. We all know that's NEVER the way it worksout in RL, but it's ice to pretend right? Things always work for the good guy in fantasy land right?

*frizzes hair* WHYYYYYY?! If I wanted loss and angst and pain and bad news I wouldn't even zone out in video game land. I have been playing this game for almost 2  (maybe three) days straight. Gimme a break already, yo! Oddly enough I had this weird de-ja-vu feeling the entire time I was playing. I'm nearly positive I've never played it before.... *bangs head on desk* what is up with me and depressing, "everyone dies"-type video games/movies/books? Channeling my inner emo much?


Maybe I'll play something ridiculous (like Rhapsody..again) that is overly PINK with floaty hearts and stupid anime-ish anime music to lighten my mood. I still haven't finished Star Ocean First Departure, but that game is boring me.

Or I could play another suikoden game. I may end up making a shrine for Suikoden 2 now. I don't know if I like or hate Jowy. And Luca's death scene was kinda touching, with the fireflies flying up into the starry night sky, even though this guy was a monster.

So right now i'm waiting on to hear from my datacenter about a few things.

Basically the malware issue is pretty severe. It's unfixale in the servers current state. So all of the accounts will have to be backed up to another source, and then the hard drive will need to be reformated. Then all of the accounts will be loaded back onto the server etc

When I find out more, i'll let you know.

In short, this asshole owes me an apology. At first he says:

If you view your source, in a div, you will notice coding.. it's the malware. Like I said, you have to delete it. And if you can't figure out how to delete it, you're better off starting off from scratch. And hey, maybe your computer is infected. When you upload files via ftp, your computer might be injecting the data that way. So you might want to code through filemanager.

And like I was trying to tell him (he deleted the orignal post) the issue is SERVER SIDE not client side, we can't do ANYTHING. Yet he is going to gIve me some snarky ASSHOLE puto response: It's either your computer INFECTED or start from scratch??? Scratch?? that is over 6 months of work. Chingate pendejo... that response told me: this guy's a dick that doesn't know what he'sdoing:  how the hell do ALL of us have the same damn virus? Vete a la verga....

So now he finally looks and lo and behold even his ass can't fix it. Gotdammit just give me my domain so I can GTFO. I really dislike him. How the hell can you dislike someone you don't even KNOW?? His ass his a punk ass bitch. I wish I did have to deal with him in real life because I double dog dare him to get brave like that to me in my face and talk down to me, like I was born yesterday and don't have a lick of common sense. If I thought I could slap the taste out of people's mouths and NOT go to jail or be sued, I'd make a list...

Like a damn fool, I turned down offers of hosting (some host were letting me go to them free until my hosting with ParadeHosting expired. I think the whole lot of them should be ashamed: the new owner for being a pinche cabron, the old owners for screwing us over with the new guy, without even asking our opinions. They're awful. But I wanted to give this guy and the "super fast excellent" new server a chance, plus I wanted my domain. Now all my files are infected, I have to use an old backup. I'll have to alter my scripts for the new server.... If Holdfire ever gets back to me...

I feel really pissed b/c one of my friends I host, his domain has been down now (most of mine as well) and he had an interview and needed to have his portfolio online to show, but nooooo.... shit is down. shit STAYS down. Directory has been a 500 error for over a day. I send a ticket and I see over 100 people looked at it but no response so I deleted the shit. DON'T fix it b/c i want to leave anyways dammit it all.

It's a huge issue for me, mostly coming from forums and gaiaonline. .

recently i followed my stats to an LJ that was direct linking my media file pages. I kinda went overkill on my comment to her (it was kind of ranty). Now I feel really bad. I feel like I came off as a bitch.

In my defense, personally, I would never direct link to someone's media pages. To me that's saying: The only good part of your site is the media. For instance, when I use textures, I link to the main site, not the page I got the texture from. It may be easier for the person who visits my site to find that particular texture, but it's not really doing justice to the web owner who worked hard on their site. Furthermore, offsite file hosting services, although they are probably well aware the type of files being distributed, will delete files and/or accounts when they realize copyright media is being distro'd.

In her defense, she wasn't what i call the "GaiaOnline lil snot" type. No, she replied and apologized and linked to the main site. She was a lot more civil than i think i came off to her. She honestly didn't mean any harm (which is why I feel bitchy; I'm sure some of her LJ friends would agree lol). Honestly, it's the first time I've ever had anyone respond to my request not to direct link files/pages in such a positive way. Hah so she shut me up and put me in my place.

I'm accustomed to the person either ignoring my request or being a smart ass, which has made me stop being nice to direct linkers. But this has been a good reminder to approach people politely again  rather than straight off being all hard-ass

when am i going to learn to never pick up from the back up? My back is killing me. I was hella cleaning my room because between the dust and the carpet beetles I am losing my mind. Well for the dust at least. I moved everything I could out of my room and dusted, mopped, disinfected. The carpet beetles are probably still infesting my closet, but I sprayed crazy raid, dropped a couple of blocks of ceder in there, plus the little tiny assholes won't have anything to eat because I've removed anything wool. (by removed i mean trashed since they ATE it. Saraba, pea coats and sweaters).. So DIE bugs, and be quick about dying. (hilariously enough, once they turn into beetles about the size of the tip of a pen, they eat pollen. Until then, they eat animal fibers. God's big HARDY HAR HAR)

I went to the grocery store and thie guy that works there was hitting on me. I kept changing checkout lanes, but he kept moving to mine. DUDE you're probably like 2x my age. shit off already. I don't mind guys twice my age (*ahem* Congressman Butterfield, the Potus) but not gross pervy old dudes. Why can't some people take a hint. If I'm not lookig at you and answering in monosyllables that equates to go jump face first into a pile of rocks.


I got food for dinner at least. Trying this 'roasted garlic' thing again. Everyone keeps telling me its sweet, but it taste like eating garlic paste. Hopefully I did something wrong.

I also ordered some organic food from onlynaturalpet.com. 14 bucks on 5 cans of 3oz food (well the shipping at 6.99 boo).,. I've been waiting all day for the vet to call me back about human grade fish oil to give to Mandie. I have some from 1800PetMeds but it expires last year, and I'm not sure if they go rancid or not so.. Her skin is so dry and itchy. So is mine. It's the season change. At least I have my Aveeno Oatmeal lotions and Cocoa butters. Otherwise I'd be tearing into my skin worse than she is.

what i wouldn't do to own all the MPD Psycho manga (JAPANESE language. i ABHOR english translated tokyo pop-ish crap. vomit)

First off I j'adore Tajima Shou (fanlisting?)

Second, I love Tetora.

I was reading Omanga? Band of Hawks scanlations but some crummy company picked it up and now that it's licesnced no more scanlations. I can't find any scanlations anywere. Although I'd rather have the books.

i was checking out sites like Amazon.co.jp and sasugabooks.com.. far too much for me to afford right now. 13 books I think, at about 11 bucks a book. No including s&h. *sigh*

whatever, from tafl is one dumb chica. I dunno we must be on two different wavelengths (her wavelength existing outside of the realm of  reasonable thought processes that is).

she removed my FL because ONE of the buttons was in Japanese. Well phuck. I could have SWORN anime is Japanese is origin. Excuse me for having ONE button in Japanese for a JAPANESE anime that I watched in JAPANESE. Freakin facist nazi. (<-- that was extreme lol). She's pissing me off. Her first email was blah blah something about the word "fan" on the freakin button, now she is bitching b/c I had a Japanese button. But I had TWO buttons, one in Japanese. It's the internet, and as I aam NOT the lawnmower man I cannot phyrically bend anyone's arm back and force them to chose the code for the Japanese button.

Anywho. I just got back home.

I told a friend i'd show him some piccies of the wedding (two months ago. So I grabbed a few from the photographers website. Maybe I'll scan the ones I bought (Cheesus Crust it was expensive!) : las fotos

In other news.  a hellish 5 days on in house babysitting. And this Mitseal what the hell ever chic is about to piss me off, i'm just a hair's breadth from snapping. Watching three worrisome bad ass kids for FIVE days. Rolling their eyes telling me whatever. Being kicked by a 3 year old when i tell him no. Granted these hellions are my cousins. Granted my aunt looked at me hard when I told her the issue and said "Carol, if he speaks to you like that again, you better take your hand and knock the living HELL out of him, DO YOU HEAR ME *i back away nervously* . I don't know where he think he got that 'whatever' crap from but I dare him to say that crap again, because if I hear it  I'll  ooooooh."  I take it as cementing the "NEVER HAVE KIDS" down just incase i get mushy somewhere in the future. Being awoken by the sound of drums playing across the hall from my room upstairs as 6am everyday. When I finally got the littlest kid to sleep at like 11pm.  Yeah my sanity is like un poquieto right now.

I also had the 'pleasure' of working on my aunt's new computer. And wouldn't you know, the only thing she can get that far outin the country is dialup (satellite is like, a lot of money to set up the satellite then 60 a month for internet. are you insane, plus the already have satellite. Furthermore, i HATE when computer ppl try to bamboozle non-techie people. If you the ISP offer DSL and dial up, which both employ the phone line, then why the hell can't you give her dial up. Something is rotten in Oxford)

The only plus? Starz played Apocalypto (damn u mel gibson) like 3 times the past couple of days and Rudy Youngblood is DELICIOUS. AND AND AND I finally saw an episode of Law and Order with Adam Beach (aka future hubby). *melts to floor*

In sad news, i found a cat wondering around. Poor sweetheart was bones. I snuxk crazy food out to her, my aunt could only sigh in exasperation b/c she knows I would have given her the Riot Act if she said anything against it. Aa very sweet cat and trusting, which told me two things: she was not feral and she was abandoned. She was mewling, and I got her to roll for me and noticed her nipples. Then it all came together. so i followed, as she wanted, for half a mile and low and behold, under the neighbors bush hog, 2 precious babies. I pray that kitty and her babies can make it. I'm scared for her though. The warm can only hold for so long, though the leaves haven't changed colors yet. The dipshit neighbors want to set a trap and take her to the animal shelter. aka Auswich for animals. i said shelter NOT rescue. Damn it all. I did pray for her, but sometimes I feel (about to blaspheme) God must be taking some long periods of R&R because the most needy and helpless just die without any Divine intervention, die while they are praying and mewling, and howling for the Creator's Mercy. No mercy comes though. No miracle. Just survival of the fittest. And survival don't happen to give a flick of a rat's ass about sweet lil mama cat and her tiny babies.. So instead, I prayed to my ancestors to watch over the tiny mama and her babies. I prayed for human mercy. Because there has to be some part of a person that doesn't want to see a tiny baby die, whether that baby is human, dog, cat, monkey, a baby is a baby. I wish I could give them a home.  I'm back at home now, 2 hrs from oxford and those kitties back with my Mandie. At least I have my Mandie...

My lovely host moved me to a new server without an email or jack shit. So I'm uploading files and no change no change. A-hole. He claims he doesn't care for the forum but all annoucements are made via the forum. He didn't send an email. I dont know what the hell the name servers are. Pisses me off.

updated the updates blog (keeping an updates blog soo much easier than cutenews on individual sites.)

sempiternity a Widdershin tribute

Another blog of complaints lol. wah wah wah allll the way home.
( continue? )

in hilarious news, spiders have taken over my truck. My mom wins. I will spray a bunch of raid and let that marinate. Air the truck out the following day. I was driving and 2 or three just dive bombed from somewhere. I would see something float down and I'd be all "OMG what was that". I really can't have my eyes darting everywhere but the road. I almost rear ended someone today.This is what happens when you park under a tree all the time. *sigh*

I'd also like to add DISTRICT 9 IS KICKASS. It has such blatant racist undertones, but oddly as the movie wore on, I wasn't offended. Actually I thought the Nigerian bit was HILARIOUS. Nigerians will 411 even aliens.

I will admit i have a HUGE issue with Nigerian men. It's like oil and water with them.  The women aren't so bad, but show me a nigerian man who isn't a pompous jackass, and i'll show you a man who obviously isn't a nigerian. *scoffs* It's not discriminating if it's true. Sorry but it's true.

The TIME issue with Glenn Beck.. I wrote dirty words ALL over his face...but in Spanish. and my Dad looked a me a few times. I think he knows what "puto" means, but he def. didn't know the rest. After all, I was chicana for four years.  I think i'll upload it to facebook. Vincie will get a kick out of it. Like the picture I posted of Limbaugh (in a black suit) and i added the caption "What kind of tragic jackass thinks that wearing black can take off 400 pounds?" . Bill Maher kicks ass btw.

Man 4am already. i feel like jellyfish vomit. I may as well start selling tickets to family and friends in advance. B/c if Mandie Milo Harris III wakes me up at 5 or 6 am by biting my arm and running away one more time, it'll be me and my cat, boxing: head to head toe to toe in a knock down drag out cross species intergalatic struggle for MY dignity.  

example
coworker: Caroline, I don't mean to intrude, but... are you cutting yourself or something?
Me: ............come again?
coworker: I notice your arms are all red and sliced up, and they're new, almost everyday. That's really not the answer.  If you ever need someone to talk to...
Me: *blinks*
coworker: *shakes head, eyes full of concern*

I gave her another verbal warning just now. She's flipped upside down on the bed snoring her troubles away, but i see her ears twisted my direction so i know she heard me. if she isn't biting me and running. then it's the 3am cat olympics, where she decides to start running. And using my body as a hurdle when she jumps on to the bed. Sometimes she does leap over me, other times all 13lbs of accelerated cat land on my head or soft vital organs. She's a spoiled rascal, it's my fault. I just love love LOVE her though. she's my baby girl

Ha, I have finally finished the Vagrant Story FL! Tada~ Peripatetic

I think I did a lovely job considered I stared at a blank PSP screen for about an hour (well actually i was too busy eating the chili i made, that was a beast by the way).

Going to make an intro page for my Vagrant Story collective, Indwell.

I was reading this awesome book calling Buffalo Gals really short kinda book, but the art is awesome.  I will probably make a new layout for AkiNoIro with a scan from that or from one of those Scary Stories books. It is almost Halloween anywho.

I need to post on my update's blog, Map of what is Effortless as well now, so....


In terrible news: McDonald's ice cream machine was down (as freakin always) and I have NOT had an Oreo McFlurry today (angrily sips on glass of agua de tamarindo). I haven't had a McFlurry in 4 entire days now. It'd be really funny if I drove thru the line and gave them a cup of vanilla ice cream and asked them to make my mcflurry. I'm going through withdrawal- i feel nervous and confused and my hands are shaky.

dreams i think due to my lack of mcflurry, last night at like 4am i jumped out my bed screaming and running for the light switch because I was conviced a huge black and brilliant yellow spider had been in bed with me. Wouldn't you know NO ONE even woke up to see what was wrong. I was shaking terribly (so was my poor kitty) and even though I'm not afraid of spiders, i had to pep myself up to pull all my sheet back to check. Turns out i had a dream that i woke up and pulled back the sheets and saw a spider beside me. Rationally, there was no way i would have seen the spider as the room was pretty dark. I turned the lamp on the night stand on it's lowest setting and went back to bed (uhh i see i never turned the lap off today). Sooo surreal. damn you McDonalds!

But my advisor is taking the award for this. Here i am, desperate for a FT job, something nice and cushy, and people like him who do jackshit have the cushy job. WTF does he do all day?? he has the nerve to ask ME what classes i need to take. Sir, do you see your reflection in the moniter? i ought to smash your face into it, maybe knock some sense into you. doggonit

This was supposed to be my last semester, but here he comes trying to pull humanities classes out his ass for next semester.

Well sir, bend over so i can assist you in shoving them right back up here. I have taken enough humanities classes at unc for 2 people. i shall not. This shitty community college is making me very angry. i don't know what monkeys throwing feces at each other all day are in the administrative office, but they are going to get a earful. I've had enough. Enough of m sorry excuse for professors. Enough of my advisor. Enough of them canceling classes at the last minute. enough of my retarded classmates. I feel my heart start palpitating just thinking about it.

Thank God lauging at Kanye & lil mama's hilarious antics and subsequent hilarious memes added some time to my lifespan and lowered my blood pressure. God Bless you Kanye West. And you hilarious meme makers

at least the one I was only supposed to be making a 2 semester stop over. my classmates are effin retarded. it's like 'No Child Left Behind' times 10. except these are adults. Morons.

'i forgot the link to the Cisco site' <--google much?
'i don't understand' <--um did you try? the prof gave you a copy of my completed assignment, so you have the answers. morons.

NO ONE makes me get up at 7am (esp when i can only get to sleep at 3 or 4am), iron my clothes, make myself presentable, and take a 15 min drive across town for nothing. NO ONE. If they want to play retarded (if they are playing) FINE, i will start going to class in my kitty cat PJ bottoms (old navy <3) and t-shirt and my 2x too big comfy sweat shirt i've had for like 4 or 5 years. And socks and flip flops. Maybe I'll comb my hair.  No one makes me iron for nothing!!!

this is why no one does the 4 yr university then 'oh better take a couple courses at the community college'. Because it's WHACK. It's called OFFICE HOURS you don't understand what the professor is talking about, you don't hold class up with your dumb questions, you go to office hours. Ya know, on your own time.

My post before last, about bitchiness; yah one of the things that piss me of is PEOPLE WASTING ME TIME. If I have to go to class, have the professor have to stop for the retards and tell me 'Sorry, Caroline, you can go home if you like' one more time. I can't be sure what will come out of my mouth (i've been bottling my frustration with these people since spring 2008), but it will not be nice and it'll probably be loud and full of foul language.

OMG i just wrote the most hilarious honest box comment on my ex's facebook. he's gonna know it was me. if he ask, i'll probably fess up to  it, as it was hilarious.

the second hilarious thing: i went over my aunt's house to pick up a bootleg *cough* anyways, i was eating chocolate and i went the in bathroom and wiped my fingers on the TP roll. it looked so hilariously like poop that i left it like that and she JUST now (1:42am) called me. "CAROLINE *pause* IS THIS SHIT ON THE TOILET PAPER OH MY GOD THAT'S DISGUSTING. YOU'RE GONNA BRING YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND CLEAN IT UP". it took like 20 minutes for me to convince her to smell it ans see it was just a kitkat. OMG LO L LOL stop teh  madness

I am also watching Hoarders on tv.

I just can't stop laughing. i can easily see myself sittng in class tomorrow and lauging at the honesty box comment or the TP 'poop'

i really dislike e-drama. i fail to understand why some people have to come across so bitchy online. who the hell peed in your cornflakes, i know not,  but I assure you, it was not me. It's wasted effort on me as it really doesn't phase me much, just makes me wonder why you're being uber-bitch on the other side of the TCP/IP connection. My dad has always told me to 'Roll with the punches',- be the punches verbal or physical.  The only time an argument can piss me off is if you are messing with my time, family, friends, people who can't take up for themselves, belongings, personal space, or money. That'll piss me off. Other than that, why the hell do I care? You can effing go fly a kite or rupture your capillaries or shit on yourself being pissed off for all I care. I've got a'plenty assholes to deal with already (particularly an asshole professor who effed up my credit hours, dammit. Don't think about it...).

There is one person who is particularly starting to work my last nerve. I actually had a daydream where I pushed this person down the steps and watched, placid faced, and they twisted and tumbled down the stairs. In fact I fact i felt rather pleased with myself. As soon as I came out of it, I put my head down and prayed on it. No worries though, my daydreams will satisfy, I got better sense than to knock anyone down a flight of steps and stand there grinning like a Cheshire cat. That'd main or kill a person in real life, and I don't have the providence to undo after I hurt or kill someone.

Got class tomorrow. I'm sitting here just relaxing and chatting it up with friends, like I don't have to get up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow. Why don't I take anything seriously anymore. I reckon I'm too gotdamn jaded to give a shit about anything anymore. I gotta remember to value education. Little girls in Afghanistan are going to class with the risk of getting acid thrown in the faces, they wanna learn so bad. And little girls in Africa are taking that long walk knowing they could get dragged off the road and rapped.  Kids in ghettos, trailer parks, projects dreaming for the chance of a decent education. And here I am moaning about school, like an ungrateful lil shit. Heaven knows everything though.

I have to get the Vagrant Story fanlisting up soon, as my 4 weeks will be ending shortly.

I want desperately to use Soul-Savior.org to house my vagrant story fandom, but I fear I will have to devout another domain (over-kill.org and world-weary.net really aren't being used). It annoys me but I worry what will happen if my host won't give me back my domain like he promised. I could beat my head into the wall for being soooo stupid and not registering the domain myself. What the hell was I thinking??
I gave NameCheap the short version of the sotry and they are all "There's nothing we can do".

I don't like liars and renegers.

Back in March of 08 I registered a domain for my dad (he wanted one for his small business). As he always does, I do all the work and he changed his mind. So the domain is forgotten. When i move host, the domain's name servers didnt change. In April 09 I get an email about renewal and I'm all "WTF?". So after research i realize what domain they are talking about, and I go through 1&1 Internet's complicated cancellation process. which didn't work apparently as in March of 09 they emailed me that I needed to provide a valid credit card as to avoid late fees. After about 9  emails with support, I'm told 'We will forgive the charge if you give us your account password'" I email back and tell them I've never sent account info through the mail and I'm uncomfortable with it (my address my visa card number and all was on the site). The final reply I get was that the domain package has ben canceled.

Logical thinking: If you wanted my password to access the account and cancel it so that you cancel the charge, if the account has already been canceled, then you aren't charging me.

Instead last week I get a notice from a debt collector: 8.99 for the domain and 18.99 for late fees. I called and they tell me (in fact the same guy who i spoke with was the one who sent the final email) You should have emailed your password like you were told. It's prefectly safe to send you password through the email (<-wtf world does this asshole live in?). So I have to email complaints as they supposedly don't have a number, although the guy who replied was the guy who said he'd refund me from the Domains department.

So I sent an angry email back (my patience is NOT a fount eternal folks) and said I was writing reviews so other people will know of my bad experience AND contacting the BBB (better business bureau). These folks have some 700 complaints. Real quality right? their reviews are almost all negative too. Too bad I found this out too late.